The year 21 fear.

They say not much can change a man after he finishes his first 21 years - of largely aimless living.
And it makes a lot of sense as well, for people hardly seem to change - our politicians don't, our government servants don't, closer home, neither do orthodox grandparents or pedantic teachers.

If you think you're someone who embraces change, always changing for the better - that statement must cause some worry.
For it says, the basis, the very fundamentals that determine how you think and act, will be set in concrete by the time you finish twenty-one. And you'll need to have a 'shattering' experience that will break through the concrete if you really need to redefine your fundamentals.
Say you are in your thirties, each time you think you're embracing change, you are really not!
For how you fundamentally act and think has already been determined, and you're merely acting out a slightly unconventional reaction each time you think you're embracing radical change.

That brings us to my primary concern, what if I need to radically overhaul myself sometime later in my life? And they tell me that 21 years of work can't really be undone in a few months or even years!
Even more frightening is the prospect of not being able to change even when you want to, and being deceived into thinking you've changed when you really haven't.

I am pretty sure the number 21 isn't really special, it is hopefully something a bit bigger.(That should give us more time!) All said and done, the early twenties inevitably determine how we form our notions on important determinants of a good living - human relationships, freedom, money and religion among others.

I would rather be prone to change now and be moulded just right sooner, than stay in my shell and be too hard to change later anyway.

A single goal for everyone?

Perhaps the single-most important goal in life for you and me is to build, nurture and when hurt or damaged, soothe what people identify today as an ego.
And if we do pour in all our efforts into that(as in anything else), we might do well enough to be considered successful by our less fortunate peers. However, we wouldn't, after all this education, be so unreasonable to know that and still go about such a task, having been educated that it is not the right thing to do.
So we adopt in our own ingenious manner, a method of convincing ourselves that what we pursue is not simply an ego boosting task but something more reasonable - a goal that has more to it than just money, fame or power (all of which feed into the ego!)

But then how unreasonable can we be?
We know deep within - whether it's a star PhD, a breakthrough idea for a startup or a job at an investment bank that we want, we do it for either money, power or fame.
Can we cheat ourselves,( we could cheat our less fortunate peers!, of course!) that what we do comes out of a platonic love for what we want to do and the three just seem to come along as a tag.

It is an open competition, and all that the world's going to judge you by - is through three indicators - Money, Power or Fame - Competition you cannot step out of.
You are on the local stage or a larger global one depending on how big your ego has grown.

You just can't afford to be nice and stay out and risk people hurting your ego - unless you are one of those low key players who haven't built up a big enough ego yet, and can watch the fight from the sidelines. Like those very laidback people you meet in the countryside - people who have not an inch to care about why they are not rich or famous as someone else, or anything of the sort.
They play on the smallest stage - of relationships, that is all that seems to matter for them.
They are the ones I adore and envy.

But then where does that leave the rest of us, with our egos (that tell us we are smart, knowledgeable etc etc and have things to do...) to satisfy ?
In the big bad ego driven world of course!
It does seem a pity that the prime of our lives must go to something that we know is not as worth as we make it up to be!
Only a lack of imagination can make us ask - "But what else have we to do then if we don't engage ourselves in the task of building, nurturing and soothing our ego ?"

If you don't have an answer, you've got nothing to worry, there's plenty of company : The world only knows one way to rate you!

So get out there and grow your ego then!