Twenty-one years of forgettable joy?
It is with mixed feelings that I complete 21 years today, nostalgic about the years that have passed and looking forward to those ahead...
On every birthday, be it in Hyderabad, Chennai or this one in London, I inevitably experience an uncharacteristic sinking feeling that reminds me of the years passed that will never come back.
While I cherish each and every one of my moments under the sun so far, I wonder which is it that I may say I miss most...
Is it those fantastic memories of childhood made up largely of playing cricket barefoot in the hot sun, which never felt so hot then as it does now, visiting grandparents, relatives and friends in ancestral villages in the summers and and fighting with my siblings everyother day!
Or is it those two years of intense disciplined study, which meant giving up just about everyone of those little joys of childhood for the single joy of excelling amidst intense competition and the recognition that came thereafter. Also came along an ability for math, science and more that will stay for a very long time to come.
Or is it those four memorable years of what was largely carefree abandon, mixed with occasional passionate efforts to impress upon a peer group, one's own abilities and ideas.
Not to forget, a return to barefooted sport:) - a different one though this time, idealistic dreams for the nation, an exponentially increasing interest in the opposite sex and an inexplicable longing for the shores abroad - All of which ended in a degree at a college valued much more by those who got theirs elsewhere than perhaps by those who got theirs there!
That I can never relive these moments ever again is not the happiest of thoughts...
But as I look forward to life ahead with as much optimism as ever, I can only say that I'll probably get so used to missing those years passed by, that I won't miss the earliest ones as much as the more recent ones - But that's the only comfort I can offer if this is how you feel too...
On every birthday, be it in Hyderabad, Chennai or this one in London, I inevitably experience an uncharacteristic sinking feeling that reminds me of the years passed that will never come back.
While I cherish each and every one of my moments under the sun so far, I wonder which is it that I may say I miss most...
Is it those fantastic memories of childhood made up largely of playing cricket barefoot in the hot sun, which never felt so hot then as it does now, visiting grandparents, relatives and friends in ancestral villages in the summers and and fighting with my siblings everyother day!
Or is it those two years of intense disciplined study, which meant giving up just about everyone of those little joys of childhood for the single joy of excelling amidst intense competition and the recognition that came thereafter. Also came along an ability for math, science and more that will stay for a very long time to come.
Or is it those four memorable years of what was largely carefree abandon, mixed with occasional passionate efforts to impress upon a peer group, one's own abilities and ideas.
Not to forget, a return to barefooted sport:) - a different one though this time, idealistic dreams for the nation, an exponentially increasing interest in the opposite sex and an inexplicable longing for the shores abroad - All of which ended in a degree at a college valued much more by those who got theirs elsewhere than perhaps by those who got theirs there!
That I can never relive these moments ever again is not the happiest of thoughts...
But as I look forward to life ahead with as much optimism as ever, I can only say that I'll probably get so used to missing those years passed by, that I won't miss the earliest ones as much as the more recent ones - But that's the only comfort I can offer if this is how you feel too...
posted by Mohanakrishna C at 3:51 PM
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