Pray for a good Husband..
I am going to get married at 21, as soon as I graduate. The sooner the better my parents say. And they have started searching too. Occasionally, they send me photographs of rich, attractive young men in USA, UK and Australia which I share with my friends at college, who of course can't hide their excitement!
My Dad can afford it, he's been doing well, accumulating quite a sum of money over the decade to get me the best possible groom.
Getting a good groom is very difficult if you don't have that kind of cash.
A cousin of mine working in London wants a crore! And I can't really guarantee he's a good groom either.
And let me tell you that you cannot underestimate the importance of money. Why, my other cousin, not so rich, had to to get married to an unemployed chap in India and guess what? He didn't come cheap either. 4 acres of prime irrigated land, that's what he cost.
But money's not everything. A husband must be nice and caring. We hear so many stories of women who spend long hours confined to home and housework, some are married to frauds, some others to incapable men and lots more to difficult men.
Another cousin of mine, (Indians have lots of cousins and big families!) had to get a divorce. When she got married, everyone thought she was very lucky but it was not to be.
The chap was working in Silicon valley and made a fortune, but she found out that he did not really need a wife, he only needed someone to cook and clean.
My mother says it's all in one's destiny. There's nothing one can do but accept, she says, but we must try our best to get the best possible groom. And predictably she adds, Look at me and your Dad!
I can only wait and see how my arranged marriage goes. If my destiny's good, I can study for a Masters, work hard and earn my money and freedom.
If it isn't, I just have to wait until we have a child and children need so much attention that I can hardly think about my own troubles then. And after they grow up, I'll be too old to bother about any of my ambitions.
If you have got really high ambitions that you are not sure are too realistic, I have a suggestion - have children, and off go your ambitions, and with them your troubles.
But before that I need to look at some more photographs and pass some interviews,
fingers crossed until then.
Wish me luck.
My Dad can afford it, he's been doing well, accumulating quite a sum of money over the decade to get me the best possible groom.
Getting a good groom is very difficult if you don't have that kind of cash.
A cousin of mine working in London wants a crore! And I can't really guarantee he's a good groom either.
And let me tell you that you cannot underestimate the importance of money. Why, my other cousin, not so rich, had to to get married to an unemployed chap in India and guess what? He didn't come cheap either. 4 acres of prime irrigated land, that's what he cost.
But money's not everything. A husband must be nice and caring. We hear so many stories of women who spend long hours confined to home and housework, some are married to frauds, some others to incapable men and lots more to difficult men.
Another cousin of mine, (Indians have lots of cousins and big families!) had to get a divorce. When she got married, everyone thought she was very lucky but it was not to be.
The chap was working in Silicon valley and made a fortune, but she found out that he did not really need a wife, he only needed someone to cook and clean.
My mother says it's all in one's destiny. There's nothing one can do but accept, she says, but we must try our best to get the best possible groom. And predictably she adds, Look at me and your Dad!
I can only wait and see how my arranged marriage goes. If my destiny's good, I can study for a Masters, work hard and earn my money and freedom.
If it isn't, I just have to wait until we have a child and children need so much attention that I can hardly think about my own troubles then. And after they grow up, I'll be too old to bother about any of my ambitions.
If you have got really high ambitions that you are not sure are too realistic, I have a suggestion - have children, and off go your ambitions, and with them your troubles.
But before that I need to look at some more photographs and pass some interviews,
fingers crossed until then.
Wish me luck.
posted by Mohanakrishna C at 4:18 PM
6 Comments:
good stuff da... yeah this arranged marriage conjob can be really arbit... hope to not enter it by finding someone for myself!!
Whose letter is it anyway?? [:P]
Oh well..I don't mind it..
As long as I speak to her for a while before the actual event, and we like each other etc.
@SK
Good Luck!
@Anonymous
It's just representative, what else do I say!
@Ramani,
Well, that's the problem isn't it? Guys never have a problem with it. It offers everything they can ask for, a thorough method of filtering that eventually ensures status quo, with the men and women having clear well defined roles. And men clearly have an advantage here.
It offers little opportunity for women who intend to live beyond this status quo. In a marriage when the two know each other very well, and in love indeed, women have larger autonomy over their life.
i.e. your arranged marriage means that no matter how smart your wife's going to be, you are not going to settle for anything less than coming home to have something nice to eat.
In the end, it makes sense for a man to get married this way,it's a win-win for him, little wonder that it continues!
"i.e. your arranged marriage means that no matter how smart your wife's going to be, you are not going to settle for anything less than have something nice to eat when you get back home", was what I meant.
:)) Good post. You seem to be very upset about the status of women and arranged marriages in general. Won't most people - men or women - be happy to let someone take care and look after them forever? Who's bothered about ambitions blah blah blah.. :P (Most men won't like this coz society demands/expects them to be the caretakers)
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