Low divorce rates - Not as nice as they look...
Prone as we are to give in to our incessant desire to compare, it is difficult to accept the enormous difference in living standards when we come abroad.
It doesn't seem fair that some people in some parts of the world can lead vastly better lives than others elsewhere.
It doesn't seem fair that old people, like my grandparents, are not cared for by the government like those of my european friend's. Or that every guy here has been to some part of the world other than their own while a large number of my own relatives, (well-off in their own communities by any standard) will not in their lifetimes go further north than Delhi or south than Chennai. Or that you are going to be fed by the government if you have no food to eat and no job you can do.
But then our belief that the law of averages holds, and the lord Yama/Indra will take care of it, suggests that we must have something that people here don't. How can it be that these people have more than what we do ? There must be something that's better.
And the first thing that comes to mind, due to more a lack of imagination, than keen observation is that we have better family lives.No Divorces, No broken families, No pre-marital sex, No illegitimate children et al.
Ideally, if we had everything else as in this part of the world and still had the above, things couldn't be better.But little do those who raise such an argument understand that these are not independent to our current social and economic situation.
India's low divorce rate is explained as much by the degree of independence that women have as much it is a culture that we are so proud of.
More Divorces are better, India's divorce rate is a little too low.
I wouldn't want it to be so high as the US or the UK. But a little higher than now is definitely a lot better.
I'm not asking more women to divorce their husbands, rather I claim that less divorces are due to the highly dependent condition of women on me than what is believed.
My intention is to rebuff those who take lower divorces and better family lives as defence to the lack of comparable living standards at home against in this part of the world.
If more women taking up jobs and being financially dependent mean more divorces so be it.
We could have marginally worser family lives and more divorces to feed more of our people, make our women more independent, and send more children to schools.
A divorce will be easier to digest than the idea of millions of women stuck in their homes performing duties far lesser than their potential suggests.
It doesn't seem fair that some people in some parts of the world can lead vastly better lives than others elsewhere.
It doesn't seem fair that old people, like my grandparents, are not cared for by the government like those of my european friend's. Or that every guy here has been to some part of the world other than their own while a large number of my own relatives, (well-off in their own communities by any standard) will not in their lifetimes go further north than Delhi or south than Chennai. Or that you are going to be fed by the government if you have no food to eat and no job you can do.
But then our belief that the law of averages holds, and the lord Yama/Indra will take care of it, suggests that we must have something that people here don't. How can it be that these people have more than what we do ? There must be something that's better.
And the first thing that comes to mind, due to more a lack of imagination, than keen observation is that we have better family lives.No Divorces, No broken families, No pre-marital sex, No illegitimate children et al.
Ideally, if we had everything else as in this part of the world and still had the above, things couldn't be better.But little do those who raise such an argument understand that these are not independent to our current social and economic situation.
India's low divorce rate is explained as much by the degree of independence that women have as much it is a culture that we are so proud of.
More Divorces are better, India's divorce rate is a little too low.
I wouldn't want it to be so high as the US or the UK. But a little higher than now is definitely a lot better.
I'm not asking more women to divorce their husbands, rather I claim that less divorces are due to the highly dependent condition of women on me than what is believed.
My intention is to rebuff those who take lower divorces and better family lives as defence to the lack of comparable living standards at home against in this part of the world.
If more women taking up jobs and being financially dependent mean more divorces so be it.
We could have marginally worser family lives and more divorces to feed more of our people, make our women more independent, and send more children to schools.
A divorce will be easier to digest than the idea of millions of women stuck in their homes performing duties far lesser than their potential suggests.
posted by Mohanakrishna C at 1:53 PM
12 Comments:
Hey Mokri!DESI here{Remember kyaa??}.. Nice to get in tuch with u thru this virtual world.In ur assessment of divorce rates u have looked at only one side of the coin-Women's financial independence.Looking at the flip side a divorce has a huge psychological impact,obviously negative, on the children.It is extremely dificult to (a) adjust to a new parent if he/she marries again or (b) settle down with a single parent.Custody of the child is another issue. Also have u spoken to a large no of divorcees as to know whether their life has improved after the divorce before making a generalized statement- "more divorces needed"?
Well, Looks like you missed the point completely, I never asked for more divorces, as I indeed write(third para from the end).
My intention is to rebuff those who have only a low divorce rate(disguised partly as 'culture') to show for all the difference in living standards in India and the west.
Anyway, it's good to hear from you. I guess you're in your third year now. What do you plan to do, or rather which direction is the wind blowing at IITM - IIMs or App or Job?)
Good Luck with whatever you do.
nice point u made..
thats how we fool ourselves and dont accept the reality...but guess its only natural to rationalize...
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avunu kaka.. nenu 3rd yr.. well mine is a dual degree. so have not zeroed in on anything as of now. but 99% no app.
hello,
from reading your blog, it appears like only women will want divorces!!! so are you implying all men, who are supposedly financially independent and hence can take a divorce decision(??), are some how happy with their marriages?? i would like to think that culture is binding them.. not finances.. it has probably more to do with divorce being a taboo in the society than financial/women independence
Well, you are taking up the worthy cause of fighting for men who have to stick to their marriage even if they don't want. However, they are in the minority, quite easily.
I had the stereotypical indian housewife in mind, some of whom are forced to live a life that they might not want to.
the literacy rate of the indian females is worser. Better improve that and everything else will fall in place.
" rather I claim that less divorces are due to the highly dependent condition of women on 'me' than what is believed "
Enti Mokri, was this an error on purpose ? anyway, the error has given it an amazingly humorous meaning ... ha ha ;-)
@Suman
Thanks Suman, obviously me(n) adi.
Anyway, if it made you laugh, guess it's entertaining enough.
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mokri, good stuff. There are 2 things that concern me here -
1. most of the responses (this one included) are from jobless Alak junta. To see the comments of those you didn't personally know will be encouraging.
2. you make some sensible points, but your career choice and life overseas beg more clarity. what you say and what you do don't seem aligned (I really hope I am wrong here)
Enlighten me when you get a chance. Also, is it just my impression, or, is there a woman behind some of the articles in this blog?
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